


Garrus Dorkarian

by EmmaVakarian_Theirin



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Shakarian - Freeform, garrus is a huge romantic dork, with only like 2-3 sentences of angst BUT THE REST IS FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8210447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaVakarian_Theirin/pseuds/EmmaVakarian_Theirin
Summary: Tali had finally gotten Shepard to watch ‘Fleet and Flotilla’, and while Shepard wasn’t exactly enjoying it as much as Tali was – not that she was hating it, either - she did pick up on something...Based on this discovery I made on Garrus' romance advice:http://emmavakarian-theirin.tumblr.com/post/150565001523/emmavakarian-theirin-bladesofthevalkyrie)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've only ever written Tali once so I apologise if she's out of character or anything.

"...Tali?"

Tali hums in response, still focused on the vid like she hasn't seen it a hundred times before.

"This scene here... how would you describe it?"

Shepard can just see the smile behind her mask as she answers with much enthusiasm, "Romantic, sweet, a--"

"No, I mean as in what's happening. Pretend you're explaining it to me simply."

"Oh! Well, they want to figure out what they _are_ , so they organise to meet and they end up on top of one of those..." She gestures to the platforms that link one side of the Presidium to the other from above the ground. "...things in the Presidium. Then, after she takes off her mask and everything, they basically tell each other that they love them. Not directly, but they know. And that’s the end—“

Shepard suddenly leaps out of her seat with the most shocked expression Tali has ever seen on her face, her hands pointing back and forth to the screen. "I KNEW IT! That dork! He's a bigger dork than I thought he was! It explains so much! He wasn't--! He used--! Oh, my God!" She yells, both shocked and amused.

_That’s why he didn’t know what to do - I’m not a quarian and it finished there! And he blamed Joker and I fell for it! He wasn't watching porn! Well, maybe to start with, he was, but still! He got his ‘romantic skills’ from this! From vids like these!_

Shepard falls back onto the couch heavily and closes her eyes as it all comes together.

Meanwhile, Tali was just about scared of what would come of this after the way Shepard reacted. "Shepard, what's wrong?"

Shepard couldn’t hide the smile that grew on her face if she tried. She wasn’t mad at him in the slightest that he got the Presidium date idea from the vid. She didn’t think it was possible, but she loved him even more for it.

_He really wanted us to work, and he really did try his best to do that..._

"Nothing... Nothing's wrong.” She sighs contentedly. “Do you remember what I told you Garrus did with me in the Presidium just before you were on the ship?"

"Of course!" Tali chirps.

"Now, how would you describe that to someone, _simply_? Minus the details."

"He asked you to meet, he took you up to one of the highest spots on the Presidium, just like them, and then he asked where you stood. So you told him you loved him, and...” Her hands instantly rise to cover her mouthpiece. “Keelah!"

"This was one of the vids. _This_!" Shepard shouts, which encourages more shouting between the two.

"He's such a nerd!"

"A huge, romantic, dorky nerd."

"We should totally call him up on it!"

Shepard is already dialling on her omni-tool when she responds, "Way ahead of you!" A moment ago, she thought he would be more embarrassed to admit he got his ideas off vids like this then, well, porn, and she didn’t want that for him. Now, it seems like the most hilarious idea.

 _Revenge for all that sass, Vakaria_ n.

It barely takes a moment for Garrus to answer. "Yeeees?"

"Hi, honey, what are you doing?" She asks in a rather cheery tone.

"What I'm always doing, sweetie." He replies in his always-keeping-it-cool voice.

_Nor for long, and that damn cannon!_

"Oh, you are not! I heard your conversation with Legion and how you could just suddenly boost its accuracy within two seconds! Don't give me that." Shepard retorts jokingly, causing Tali to stifle a laugh.

_He has no excuses, now. Anyway, how could he always be adjusting something? There’s no way the Alliance reset all his work on it once they took back the ship._

"...Soooo, what are you doing?" He asks in deflection, unable to think of a witty response quick enough.

_Got ya._

"Nothing. Tonight,” she winks at Tali before continuing, _“I'm as free as the dust in the solar wind."_ She avoids phrasing it in the same tone Shalei does in the movie, not wanting to sound too obvious, but still wanting to stir him up a bit.

"That... must be nice." He comments, with what sounds like confusion in his voice.

_Or he knows what I’m doing and now he’s nervous. Poor guy... this will be fun!_

"Hmm, it is. You need to get your ass over here."

"Is that an order?"

"Why, are you thinking about saying no to your 'old ball and chain?'"

"I'm on my way."

"Good. Love yoooou!"

"I'm sure."

Immediately after Shepard hangs up and has a good laugh now that he won’t hear them, Tali questions, "He's just watching vids, isn't he?"

"Oh, definitely.” Shepard laughs again as she fidgets with her omni-tool. “I should have the soundtrack playing as he walks in. Do you ha--"

"Sending them already.” Tali already has her omni-tool activated, proudly tapping away as she sends the soundtrack through to Shepard. “I know the perfect track to play--"

"’Fire in the Courtyard!’" They say in unison excitedly before laughing at each other.

"How do you know that? You only just heard it!"

Truthfully, she had listened to it one night when she was in the mood for some new music. She recalled seeing it listed on Garrus’ dossier for one of his most played songs during a firefight, and she was curious to see if it was any good. She feels bad for knowing the more private things about him that he hasn’t told her, like the situation with his mother and the rest of his family – hopefully he’ll tell her one day - but if she can take things like these in advantage for entertainment purposes and distract him from it, she’ll do it.

"I have my ways, Tali. I have my ways."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Casually arrives a year later with another chapter] Ooops, I'm so sorry! But thank you so much for wanting more! I hope you guys like it still!

Garrus was just a few steps from Shepard’s door when he could hear music playing from the other side. Familiar, but it didn’t sound like her style. There was two ways he could go about this – someone had broken in and was imposing as her, waiting for him, or she was simply just playing different music. But as he reached the door, he recognised the song playing - ‘Fire in the Courtyard’ from _Fleet and Flotilla_.

_But that means... Oh, crap. She knows. You’re screwed, Vakarian._

Shepard had mentioned to him months ago that she hadn’t seen the film. At first, he didn’t believe it, because who _hasn’t_ seen it? But after some thought, it made sense that she hadn’t. Still, Garrus acted like the movie wasn’t a big deal, and certainly not one of his favourites. He couldn’t look all soft and like one of those people that flail over a vid.

But only now does he put together the pieces from Shepard’s ominous call; she’s worked it out, and now he’s going to cop it, big time. He knows she deserves better – much, much better – but he doesn’t _know_ any better. He’s never really been around women in this sense, there’s next to no information on the extranet on how to make a turian-human relationship work, and he’s already made the embarrassing act of asking Shepard what to do... several times.

And now she’s worked it all out.

_You’re so screwed, the Reapers are the least of your worries, now._

Composing himself for the worst, as he usually does, he punches her security code into the keypad and enters the apartment. Usually when he enters, Shepard would either be in sight or would call out to him, telling him either where she was, or that she would be a minute. On this occasion, she was neither.

_Is this a game, or a bad sign?_

As he moves in further to investigate, he notices her stereo control is set to play the entire soundtrack from the vid, and not just the one track.

_Maybe she hasn’t worked it out after all._

It should relieve him, but it doesn’t. He still feels guilty, and he still doesn’t know what’s happened--

"That actually worked."

She suddenly emerges from the far lounge, an intimidating expression on her face as she stops to lean against the fireplace, arms crossed.

_No, she definitely knows. Goodbye, evil galaxy._

For once, he’s left speechless, and the silence is killing him. He’s not going to play dumb and ask what worked, but he doesn’t want to admit what he’s done, either. Sure, it's not like he'd found a way to kill the Reaper and didn't tell her, but still, you don't let Shepard down.

Finally, Shepard breaks the silence. "I got you off the damn ship for once."

_Thanks the spirits, never copy-- hey! Well, if this is the game she wants to play..._

He leans against the kitchen counter across from her, mimicking her position. "I seem to recall that _I_ was the one who invited _you_ out recently. Actually, I’ve done that _twice_ , now. That’s _twice_ more than _you_ have."

Her smile hardly fades as she nods, a hint of laughter in her tone, "Okay, you have a point, but let me ask you something: were these sudden invitations inspired by something, or did they just come to mind?"

_Damn it. Just tell her, she doesn't seem to be mad about it if she does know... Then again, it is Shepard._

"I did tell you I’ve done some research. Several times."

"Yes, you did." She uncrosses her arms and moves them to her hips, striding her way towards him. "I was just wondering when you’d be doing scenes from _Vaenia_."

_And there it is._

"I-I..." Garrus fumbles for words, realising it’s best to come clean about the whole thing now that it’s somewhat out in the open, just unsure how to without making it sound wrong. "I’m bad at this, Shepard." He admits.

Shepard was expecting to see him get all flustered and embarrassed, the simple thought of it amusing her, but this just about broke her heart. She could hear it in his voice that he was disappointed in himself; defeated, almost. This was certainly not her intention, yet she only had herself to blame.

"Who says you’re bad at it?" She asks him sympathetically, moving around him so she could hoist herself atop the counter and be at eye level with him, but he doesn't look at her..

"Well, I don’t think—"

"Garrus..." She reaches for his hand and rubs it tenderly with her thumb, hoping it calms him enough to look at her say and what he’s thinking, and he gently squeezes hers in return, eventually turning to face her.

"...I do." He sighs.

"Garrus..." Her free hand reaches for his face, stroking it affectionately as she pulls him in for a long, slow kiss. When their mouths part moments later, she stares lovingly into his eyes, her hand still stroking his face. "I love you for _you_... You don’t need to be better at anything, okay? You're only making it harder for yourself."

"But you—"

She pulls him in for another kiss, but a much longer and more loving one, hoping he’ll get the picture. Just as she raises her arms to wrap around his neck, his arms move around her waist to pull her close. The way he touches and holds her always makes her melt, and also makes her wonder why he doubts himself so much when it comes to expressing affection.

When the need for air becomes too much, they reluctantly pull back and rest their forehead on each other's.

"You sure it’s not just my body you like?" Garrus asks with a smug but almost breathless voice.

"Your body, which I _love_ ," Shepard makes sure to put emphasis on the _much_ preferred ‘L’ word, "is a bonus, my sweet turian."

"Lucky me."

"See, you’re so confident in this department, and that’s sexy as hell."

"I think body language is a little different than... well, language."

Her hands move to rake her fingers down his fringe before tracing the shape of his mandibles, eliciting a soft purr-like noise from Garrus. "Well, sometimes actions can speak louder than words, but I also _love_ hearing you speak."

"Is that right?"

"That’s definitely right, and it hits all the right places."

"Hmm, I’ll be sure to make a note of that, then."

"So..." She slips away from his tender grip, not wanting the moment to lead straight to the bedroom, or other places for that matter. There certainly wasn't any problem in doing so, but she enjoyed the nights where they just kept each other company just as much. There isn't often enough time for those nights on the Normandy, why waste it here while their on shore leave?

She heads towards the fridge to grab the two of them a beer. "What other vids had inspired you, anyway?"

"Honestly? Not many." He answers with a shrug of his shoulders. "I even tried old human vids from long before your kind met mine."

Shepard stops in her tracks at that. "Please tell me one of those wasn’t Titanic." She groans, immediately turning to look at him.

"No."

"Good." She smiles in relief, turning back to open the fridge.

"...I mean, we live on a _space_ ship. Hardly logical."

Shepard bangs her head on the fridge door, cringing at the though that he had watched it after all.

Garrus can't help but chuckle at her. "Tell you what – how about I treat you to dinner? Just the two of us, someplace nice, no mercs or arms dealers..." He offers, striding towards her with a boost of confidence. "...or re-enactments."

"Actual dinner?" She closes the fridge door and turns back to look at him again, "Do you think any restaurant is going to let me in after what happened?" She questions, crossing her arms.

"Well, maybe the ones where the food is already food and not just decoration."

* * *

It had taken Shepard and Garrus a good twenty minutes to find somewhere suitable on the Citadel to eat. They had even dressed for the occasion – after all, it was their first real dinner-date. While the restaurant was lovely, their food seemed to take forever to be served, but neither of them cared. They were both too lost in the moment of just being out together as a couple, not soldiers with the weight of all life in the galaxy on their shoulders.

On the way back to her – _their_ – apartment, Shepard had the idea to challenge Garrus at something a little more playful and a lot less dangerous or risky than shooting bottles on the Presidium – the Casino Arcade. After the entertaining showdown between her and Jacob, she thought it might be fun to do something similar with Garrus; another friendly competition to blow off steam, minus the sweat and energy. It was more fun than she expected; some games Garrus was better at than her, other times Shepard was better than him, yet they were equal in their own ways, compensating for each other in the few ways they weren't. It was amusing to see each other get frustrated over these games, and rewarding to see them win. It felt... perfect, despite everything.

Just as they thought they had had all the fun they could and were ready to go home, Shepard noticed a new stall set up - Shoot the Reaper; another basic target-shooting game, but made to fit the dreadful state the galaxy is in. How fun! But she supposed it was a way for the angry civilians to blow off steam of their own and get some payback of sorts without risking their lives in the process. She didn't much care to play it herself until she noticed the major prize - a giant plush hamster that looked exactly like hers.

Garrus notices what's caught her eye and asks if she wants it, but she shrugs it off. Garrus, however, knows she does but doesn't want to make a deal over something like a toy hamster. but he'll be damned if he doesn't give his girl what he wants, even if she won't admit it. What's a good boyfriend for? A turian one, at that.

...Or he'll _try_ give it to her.

Ten games. _Ten games_ and he hasn't won it. Shepard, after several jokes about his aim and mocking his title of 'King of the Bottle Shooters', encourages him to leave it be, but he persists, saying he'll 'spare no expense for his _honey_ '. It was cute, but after another failed attempt, Shepard takes the toy gun from him, aims and shoots the major prize winning target on the first go. Garrus is practically speechless, but the smug smirk on her face makes his wounded pride worth it.

"Don't worry," Shepard tells him as the plushie descends into her arms, "I'll pretend _you_ won it."

* * *

Upon leaving the arcade, Shepard held the toy with one arm and used her now free hand to lace through one of Garrus’, holding him as they made their way back to the apartment. As unusual as it felt, neither of them could wipe the smiles off their faces, not even after they entered the elevator shared with a elderly human couple along with an Alliance marine who’s face screamed of disapproval towards her and Garrus, or maybe just her for looking so unprofessional. But they couldn’t care less, not when there are far worse things to get angry about right now than one couple.

Wanting to add fuel to the fire, as humans would say, Garrus reached from behind to wrap both his arms around Shepard, holding onto her waist. Shepard plays along and leans into him, allowing herself to giggle both for and at the situation, and damn, if it didn't feel good despite the disgusted grunt from the marine. The elderly couple, however, just smiled at them.

"How sweet that the two of you can be so loving and happy in the most cruel of times." The woman comments. "It must be hard at times."

Garrus looks back at Shepard, realising all his worries were for absolutely nothing.

"Actually... it's easy."

* * *

After finally arriving home after a spectacular night out, one they truly needed, Shepard decides it's time.

Garrus is left sitting on the couch while Shepard has gone upstairs to 'retrieve something', telling him he should 'get comfortable' in the process. At first, he wonders why she didn't just lead him to the bedroom, thinking that's where this was surely going, until he remembers mentioning to her once a certain activity involving a couch.

_Oh, she has ideas..._

She returns in... fuzzy pajamas.

_Okay, maybe not...?_

But there was something so... nice about seeing her in something that was designed to make her feel comfortable and relaxed, as ugly as it was. But Shepard had that affect on people - take something you never thought much of and she'll make you think it's beautiful... Funny how far they've come together.

She walked up to the television and inserted an OSD into the slot without saying anything other than "I guess it's an injustice if we don't watch this together." She smiled at him as she walked back and sat down next to him, snuggling up to him as much as she could.

They've never watched anything together, but even without knowing what the vid was, he could see himself getting use to this quite easily. He didn't even care that it wasn't going where he thought it was. Oh, if his younger self could see him now...

Then the all too familiar tune of the _Fleet and Flotilla_ intro begins to play.

_Damn, I love her._


End file.
